This is my Blog - Welcome!
It is a great honor for me to share my thoughts with you. Foster parents in South Africa have been isolated long enough. It is time that we take hands and start supporting and encouraging each other.
Let my introduce myself! I am a mother, foster mother and director and founder of Vessels of Mercy for the past 18 years.
My children, ages 18,14,13 and 11 have also made of me a full time mom! Now that my children are not running around in nappies anymore, I have decided to start my full time studies as a social worker in 2021 at the North West University in Potchefstroom.
The race that I am running is a good race. I run my race with my eyes focused on Jesus. He gives me grace to run my race. Every day I need Him more, more than yesterday.
Thank you for reading my blog and I am looking forward to telling you more next time!
With love and hope
Susan
Please stop by again. Thank you for your interest!
2021-01-30
Mistake #5 5 Mistakes foster parents make (and how to avoid them)
Mistake #5: Activating the wrong part of the child’s brain
Don’t dance with W.A.L.T.E.R:
W - Warnings
A - Arguing
L - Lecturing
T - Threats
E - Explanations
R - Rescuing
These actions activate the fight, flight or freeze (survival) part of your child’s brain! Do not use them. They are ineffective for your child’s developing brain wiring.
INSTEAD:
Use brain healing communication techniques:
1. Loving responses:
” Thank you for telling me how you feel.”
2. More questions:
“What is it I want you to do?”
3. Cross talk to another adult -
“Do you think Tim will decide to obey?”
4. Consequences with love -
Make them do five jumping jacks (this allows the brain to shift from the survival part to the logic part of the brain)
Make them jump on a mini trampoline for 5 minutes (brain shifter)
Make them do 5 brain jumps (brain shifter)
These techniques activate the frontal cortex (”love and logic”) part of the brain. Using these techniques is very effective for keeping your child out of opposition and defiance.
Hopefully this helps!
Susan
Admin - 07:49:40 @ Foster Care | 2 comments
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Eloise Swanepoel
Wow Susan this really is very helpful even for my own kids. I’d love to learn more about this!
I love your blog. Well done! Excited fort waht God is doing in and through you! -
Admin
Dear Eloise
Thank you so much for the encouragement. What is amazing about the 5 Mistakes and how to avoid them, is you can even use it on your own kids to strengthen the bond between you! I am absolutely amazed at how it has improved my relationship with my kids in a very short time. Looking forward to speaking again!!!
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